Silenced No More



Speaking out about one’s abuse and trauma aids in eradicating the power those things have. Unfortunately, many victims have been shamed or bullied into silence. Sometimes this occurs intentionally; sometimes the shaming is implied. It comes in the form of being ignored, being shunned, and other subtle and covert ways.


I recently reflected on all the ways I’ve been silenced and was stunned as the list grew and grew. I’ve been silenced my entire life. I will not be silent any longer.


Silenced in Childhood


I was silenced

- each time I was told to “be quiet”

- each time I was told “children are to be seen and not heard”

- each time I was told I was too loud

- each time I was told I was too talkative

- each time I was told I was too much

- each time I was told I was too fat

- each time I was told I was too white

- each time I was told my opinion didn’t matter

- each time I felt afraid

- each time I ran and hid for fear that my abuser would find me

- each time I was concerned about hurting someone’s feelings

- each time I was scared but felt more afraid of speaking

- each time I wanted to talk about my feelings

- EACH TIME I WAS MADE TO FEEL THAT I WAS NOT ENOUGH


Silenced in Adolescence


I was silenced

- each time I was told I didn’t belong

- each time I was treated like an outcast

- each time I was ignored

- each time I was the last person picked

- each time I wore the wrong clothes

- each time I was bullied

- each time I was shunned

- each time I was told my body wasn’t good enough

- EACH TIME I WAS MADE TO FEEL THAT I WAS NOT ENOUGH


Silenced in Mormonism


I was silenced

- each time I had doubts

- each time I had questions

- each time I didn’t understand

- each time I was told to “just have faith”

- each time I was told that anger was evil

- each time I was told that contention is of the devil

- each time I placed items on the proverbial “Mormon shelf"

- because I am a woman, and my voice did not matter

- by the patriarchy that decides whose voices matter

- in order keep other people comfortable

- in order to keep things status quo

- each time I was told that things were “sacred” but not “secret”

- each time I was told, “we don’t talk about these things”

- by constant messages of toxic positivity

- each time I wanted to turn down a calling

- each time I wanted to turn down an assignment to speak

- because I didn’t come from the “right” kind of family

- when my patriarchal blessing said mediocrity was an unforgivable weakness

- EACH TIME I WAS MADE TO FEEL THAT I WAS NOT ENOUGH


Silenced in Healthcare


I was silenced

- by a hierarchy that told me I couldn’t speak up about physicians who behave poorly

- when I have wanted to speak up about dangerous practices

- when I have wanted to speak up about poor staffing

- when I want to speak up about lack of necessary equipment

- when I’ve wanted to warn patients about inept providers

- when I’ve witnessed unethical practices but feared for my employment

- when I’ve seen nurses terminated despite having whistleblower laws in place