The Epoch of Child Sexual Assault

The Epoch of Child Sexual Assault

By Kindra Backman Celani


The age of innocence.‬

The stages of childhood.

The season of swimming.

The past determination.


‪The hour before the storm. ‬

‪The time before the events.‬

The months of grooming.

‪The moment he took my innocence,‬ while I slept.

The duration of sexual abuse and threats that no one would believe a stupid little girl.


‪The occasions I tried to hide. ‬

The tours of self-invited sleepovers at any friends house.

The stints of babysitting I offered for free.

The nights I pleaded with my sister to sleep in her bed.


The minute of freezing.

The hour of body-mind confusion.

The years of dissociation.

...

The minute of freezing.

The hour of body-mind confusion.

The years of dissociation.

...

The minute of freezing.

The hour of body-mind confusion.

The years of dissociation.


The appointments for recurring urinary tract infections

The scheduled medical procedure revictimization by urethral penetration

The rhythm of abuse events to infection recurrence unrecognized

The episodes of back pain, kidney pain, chronic “unexplained” illness.


The day I told.

The second I was not believed and continued questioning myself, my sanity

The pace of slowly lifting mothers denial.

The week he packed up and stole moms car.

The spell of revealing the abuse to church leaders.

The term of religious excommunication without criminal consequences, efforts at rehabilitation, or alerting public.

The eternal manipulation by church leaders to protect the abuser and shame the victim into silence.


The date that I was raped and blamed.